Mine

12:00am: ongoing list of favorite songs.
Love Song Requiem by Trading Yesterday, Your Call by Secondhand Serenade, Rehab by Amy Winehouse, Bubbly by Colbie Caillat, Lollipop by Mika, When Did Your Heart Go Missing by Rooney, Dirty and Left Out by The Almost, Baby You Wouldn't Last A Minute On The Creek by Chiodos, The Bird and The Worm by The Used, Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance, I've Seen You Naked by Harvey, Sometimes Your Best Isn't Good Enough by The Churchills, HeroHeroine by Boys Like Girls, Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson, Rocks by Ben Jelen, Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's, Send My Love To The Dancefloor by Cobra Starship, Timeless by Kate Havnevik, Better Than Me by Hinder, I Loved Her First by Heartland, When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, You Know You're Right by Nirvana, Beyond Angels and Adjectives by Poem, Fer Sure by The Medic Droid

11:23pm: wait.
Wait for sex.

Although it's one more thing to wait for...

It's one less thing to worry about.

It's one less kid you have.


It's one less teen mom.

It's one less teen dad.

It's one less complication in your relationship.

It's one less hospital bill you will have to pay.


It's one less uncomfortable conversation you will have with your parents.

It's one less mistake.

It's one less statistic.

Wait for sex.


It's one more reason why you can be proud of yourself.

It's one more good label you can have [virgin].

It's one more person able to have a white wedding dress.


It's one more planned pregnancy.

It's one more love story.

It's one more good choice.

Wait for sex.


There are pros and cons, weigh them.

You have the choice, but you can also have the consequences.

12:41am: Random Thoughts
First of all, thoughts on best friends.

What is a best friend anyway? A best friend is someone who is always there. They will drop whatever they're doing if there's something wrong. A best friend will tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts. A best friend will be mad at you for telling the truth, but then eventually get over it, because they know you were just trying to help.

But what isn't a best friend? A best friend ISN'T someone who ignores your phone calls. A best friend ISN'T someone who lies just because they know you'll like the lie more than the truth. A best friend ISN'T someone who ditches you. A best friend ISN'T someone who tells you that they will never drink at a stupid high school party, but then turns around and goes to a stupid high school drinking party.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

And also, thoughts on weddings.

I realized tonight at my cousin Nikki's wedding that I will never be the girl in the white dress with the perfect man on her arm. I will never have my father-daughter dance. I will never have any of this wedding stuff, because by the time I get married, half the people in my family will be dead or have Alzheimer's so bad that they don't know who I am.

11:59am: Stupid thing.
How does the world see me?
Song: Sugar, We're Going Down-Fall Out Boy.
Comments: Well I guess I seem like kind of a wreck.

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Demolition Lovers-My Chemical Romance.
Comments: Apparently not!

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Bat Country-Avenged Sevenfold.
Comments: OK, so I have no idea what this is supposed to mean.

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Brighter Than Sunshine-Aqualung.
Comments: No, they're too busy being in love with me.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: I'm Glad-JLO.
Comments: I'm already happy!

What should I do with my life?
Song: Lose Yourself-Eminem.
Comments: I suppose I should lose myself in the music.

Why should life be full of so much pain?
Song: Born To Lose-Ray Charles.
Comments: Because I lose everything, and it's my own fault.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Helena-My Chemical Romance.
Comments: By thinking of Frankie...or making faces like Gerard...? Or holding an umbrella...?

Will I ever have children?
Song: Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks-Panic! At The Disco.
Comments: I better not or I will kill them with pointy objects!

Will I die happy?
Song: Up!-Shania Twain.
Comments: I suppose I will be happy to die!

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Clumsy-Fergie.
Comments: I...got nothing.

What is happiness?
Song: Dip It Low-Christina Milian.
Comments: Happiness is being a whore?

What is my favorite fetish?
Song: Ex-Girlfriend-No Doubt.
Comments: My fetish is being with guys that I know will break my heart.

How will I be remembered?
Song: Wine Red-The Hush Sound.
Comments: People will remember me as a lush...?

12:04pm: AH!
I suck at this LiveJournal thing.

Like, layouts. My god. I suck so bad at this.

11:53am: Pondering...
Human beings are social creatures, right? But why? Why do we need that interaction?


I've been thinking about it. And I think it's because we like to feel like we're okay. We talk to other people to reassure ourselves that we aren't as fucked up as we once thought. We talk about ourselves, and then the other person says "That's okay. It wasn't your fault.", so you don't feel nearly as shitty as you did.


But what if it was your fault? Isn't this like..false reassurance...a false reality?


I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking too much. =/

9:37pm: First Post
So!! First post. Yeah, I know..exciting right? Especially since I will probably be the only one who reads this.



Hmm. I'm usually on my myspace, but..I guess this will be my space to vent.



I'm really getting sick and tired of this girl at my school. I've known her since forever and we used to be friends until I found out how much she lied. (This was in the..fourth grade?). So yeah, she comes to our high school this year. So NOT COOL! She's a poser and a half and tries to act so hard and like she's so into the "scene" or some bullshit. She only starts liking bands after she hears about someone else liking them, and if someone dislikes a band, she automatically hates them. She makes up friends and tries to act like she's it. When she's not. I just hope one day someone else sees through her BULLSHIT. And ditches her.



I'm going to laugh in her face.